Recently, I talked with my 91-year-old Mum about the fact that she may be dying. With her usual wit, she replied “Is...
Posted by Sarah Russell on Sunday, 16 August 2015
- Caroline Higgins Sarah, if you can have the support for your mum and you to make her wish come true then I really hope it comes true for her.
Sarah Russell I am so tired of fighting with TATs. TATs have such a high level of cognitive dissonance, that they will not even know that this FB post is about them.
Nick Harrison Sar keep trying. Cant think of anything she would like more than to see it out there. Proper consent to go where she has always been and loves and is part of........or proper consent to change the consumer, provider billing relationship.- Sarah Russell I really have no idea what was meant by "proper consent". Just patronising gogglygook by a member of the esteemed medical profession. Clearly confusing giving informed consent to surgery with choosing where Mum says she wants to die.
Mark Aitken Hi Sarah I feel your frustration and disappointment -of course you want your Mum to die in dignity in a place she loves. Have her capacity assessed by a Geriatrician ( I could recommend many) who has her POA? Hang in there you are a wonderful daughter
Sarah Russell With unseemly haste, a few days after my father’s death, a GP was asked to declare my then 88-year old mother legally incapable. That she was bewildered, grieving and in the first weeks of widowhood after 64 years of marriage did not seem to have been taken into account.- Sarah Russell Incidentally, in my submission to the Commission into Family Violence, I recommended there should be a certain period of time after a spouse’s death before a widow or widower can be declared legally incapable. Certainly more than a couple of days. Also a rigorous assessment of an older person’s cognitive status and mental health should be undertaken before an older person is declared legally incapable.
- Sarah Russell As you can tell, I am fuming!!
- Mark Aitken Rightly so Sarah. Phone the office of the public advocate they have a good info/ support line. You should be able the challenge the assessment given it was highly likely your Mum had a delirium or as you say altered cognition related to grief. I assume there is family conflict about where your mother now wants to die.
- Sarah Russell Thank Mark, But I am so tired of fighting. I learnt years ago to pick my battles. I have advocated for Mum's rights for years now - it's enough. Thanks to me, her twilight years have been filled with lots of love and laughter.
- Mark Aitken I understand it is exhausting dealing with these huge life issues. Get some rest and do something special for yourself. You are a wonderful daughter
- Sarah Russell How's married life?
- Mark Aitken Great thanks Sarah we are very happy & lucky that we could get married in a country with a government that respects our union
- Sarah Russell I think most kind people respect your union - pity we have so many unkind men currently running our country
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Lisa Endersby I'm with you Sarah.....just do it.....I know I will be like you....advocating to the end to fulfil my mums wishes when the day comes. I personally think there is way too much interference these days....why cant people die how they wish & just let them be?
Jan Browne Hi Sarah. Just load the car and go - just as you have been doing, taking Joan to Mt Martha for weekends for a long time. No conversation needed, this is just the same as usual. Who's to stop you? I would love to come up and help with care on weekends. Let me know. x- Sarah Russell She is very sick Jan. She had a bad fall on 1st August. A carer left Mum in the dining room until 1.45pm (much longer than her usual routine). However the carer's bigger sin was he/she positioned Mum's walker beside her, contrary to my explicit instructions in Mum’s Care Plan that her walker should not be within her reach. Restless and undoubtedly anxious, Mum decided to make a run for it - and hit the deck. I have asked for the carer to apologise for his/her mistake but in our litigious world, it looks very unlikely that he/she will be allowed to do the decent thing.
Caroline Higgins Someone i spoke to recently took their mother out and kept them whilst the were dying without 'proper consent'. Which I will do when the time comes.
Jan Browne Go Caroline! Sarah - 5 women already offering help for Joan and yourself in Mt Martha, I'm offering help - probably some of her grandchildren (and great grandkyds) would help too if they were asked ... or are you saying that Joan is too sick to be moved in anything but a bed right now?- Write a reply...
- Nick Harrison I like the just take her out for short visit that extends
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